Dating, Looking

No Time To Date? Follow these Tips and Don’t Waste Your Time

Time.  This was the #1 dating challenge in a dating survey where I asked men and women to list their top three challenges when it comes to dating. People reported that they either didn’t have time or they didn’t want to waste time that could be spent with family or close friends instead.  Some reported that they didn’t have time because they were single mothers or fathers.  Now, here’s the thing, I think this is an excuse…don’t get mad, hear me out.  I get it! Dating is a lot of work and can be exhausting. If you’re a woman, you have to get dressed up, put on makeup, do your hair, make sure your nails look nice, etc. If you’re a man, you also have to get dressed up and use your free time to meet up with your dates.  Then you go into a date hoping for the best but leave the date, once again, discouraged because there wasn’t a connection.  You think, “ugh, I could’ve been home watching “Say Yes To The Dress” …or if you’re a man, the Dodger game (that’s so stereotypical). 

Even though it’s a lot of work, I know a lot of busy people and single mothers and fathers who have made the time and are now in relationships. I mean, if the President of the United States has time to go golfing,  you can make time to go on a couple of dates once a week, am I right?

The bottom line is that you have to decide that you’re going to make time for dating.  Saying that you want to be in a relationship but not make time for it is like like saying “I want to lose weight but don’t want to exercise.” It’s not gonna happen.

Again, I totally get what you’re thinking and feeling. I was single for SIX years, SIX!! That’s six years of A LOT of dating. I think the reason that I didn’t mind dating was because I actually enjoyed it.  I had fun getting to know other people even though many times there wasn’t a connection. I learned a lot about what to do and, more importantly, what not to do from all of my experiences and that is what I want share with all of my readers.

Here are some tips for using your time wisely while dating:

  • Stop talking/texting with people who you already know you don’t want to date. Like the person who just texts but doesn’t ask you out, or the one who disappears for a week and then comes back, or the guy who makes plans but doesn’t follow through.  Stop wasting your time on people that don’t respect your time.

For Women

  • Stop replying to men online who send you messages like “hey” or “hi” or “you’re cute” without asking questions to try to get to know you.
  • Ask questions to vet out those that are not looking to date and are just online to hook up or have fun…you don’t have time for that.

For Men

  • Send emails that are more substantial.  Read the woman’s profile and ask her something about it.
  • After 3-4 email exchanges, ask the girl out for goodness sake!
  • Do not just send an email that says “hey” or “hi” or “you’re cute” (see first bullet under “Women” above)
Here are some ideas of how to fit dating into your schedule:

  • Have an event that you’re already dressed up for? Leave early and meet up with a date for a drink or coffee somewhere before the event. You’re already dressed up and looking good so use it to your advantage!
  • Meet up with them during your lunch break if you guys work close to each other.
  • Need to get a workout in? Go on a hike or a walk together (Not for a first date)
  • Have a couple of go-to dating outfits so you don’t have to think about it when it’s time to get ready!

Do you have some other ideas on how to make time for dating? Share them with us below! 

Dig Deeper: I think a deeper question is why do we keep ourselves SO busy?  Think about it for a minute.  Is it the fear of missing out (FOMO)?  Is it that you have a hard time saying no to invitations? Is it that having free time makes you think about things you maybe don’t want to think about?  Could using time as an excuse really be masking another reason for not making time to date?

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