Dating, Looking, Single Men, Single Women

How To Flirt

If you’re reading this post, you probably don’t feel very confident in this area and…you’re definitely not alone.  I think most people struggle with how to flirt BUT fear not my friends, help is on the way!  I think there are three different types of flirting depending on the following scenarios:

Breaking the ice to meet someone new.  Maybe you’re at a networking event or waiting for your coffee at Starbucks when you spot someone that catches your eye.  Here are some practical tips to put into your flirting toolkit.

  • Look for conversation starters.  Are they wearing a t-shirt or cap with a sports team or a band?  Are they wearing one of those rubber bracelets that have the name of a charitable organization? Ask them about it!
  • Wear a conversation starter!  Make it easy for them to ask you questions too.
  • Ask them if they know where the bathroom is located…even if you already know.  This opens the door for them to approach you if they’re interested.
  • Smile.  So simple right?  This also opens the door for someone to approach you.
Yes, you might be nervous trying these out..Do It Anyway!  Muster up those few minutes of courage and just do it.  What do you have to lose?

When you already have rapport with someone.  Maybe you work with someone or there’s somebody from church that you have a little crush on…how do you signal to them that you’re interested in them in a subtle way?  And, yes, people still meet this way.  Not everyone meets their significant other online.

My friend Shanee who met her husband at work gave these tips:

  • “Go out of your way to help each other out with stuff” – I love this one.
  • “Ask when the other was going to lunch if they wanted some company”
  • “Volunteer for schedules nobody wants because the other one had that shift and that way we could be on the same shift” …genius Shanee.  The more time you spend with each other and get to know each other, the more likely it could turn into something more.
  • Going on a coffee run? Ask him or her if you could grab them something.  Maybe they’ll join you next time you go.

Another friend of mine said that it was “nothing too crazy,” here are her tips:

  •  “…just talk and ask questions…guys are scared of rejection so it helps when someone makes it easy to talk to.”
  • Be aware of the “vibe you’re giving off.”  My friend was giving off the “single and ready to mingle” vibe.  She was open and approachable which made it easier for guys to talk to her.

When you’re on a date.  This could be someone that you met online and you’re meeting up with for a drink or coffee.  This may be the more challenging skill to acquire as some people might not feel comfortable and it doesn’t come as easy as the first two forms of flirting discussed.

  • Make eye contact and smile.  Create a break in the conversation, make eye contact, smile and take a sip of your drink.
  • Let them know how the date is going.  You can say something like, “I’m having a really fun time talking with you” or “I’m really enjoying our conversation.”  Sometimes it’s hard to tell if the other person is enjoying the date, make it easy by giving some feedback in the middle of the date. This will signal to the guy that he probably won’t face rejection if he asks you out on a second date.  But be careful, feedback is definitely important but don’t overdo it.
  • Touch them.  Whoa there…what the heck am I talking about?!  Touch is a powerful thing and a very subtle move.  Now, don’t go smacking someone’s behind, that’s NOT where I’m going with this!  I’m talking about appropriate and respectful touching.  For example, if he says something funny, a small brush against his forearm while you’re laughing sends a message without overdoing it.  When you’re coming back from the restroom, you can tap his shoulder to signal you’re back.  Men can offer their hand to a woman if she’s going down some steps or to help her into her car.  Make sure you gauge the other person to make sure that they might comfortable with this and read their body language before you attempt this.
The last thing I want to say about this is that flirting is going to look different for everyone because it ultimately has to match up with your personality.  You will have to step out of your comfort zone to try some of these things but don’t step out so much that your flirting seems forced.  Stay true to who you are but push yourself and find ways that work for you.


Do you find these tips helpful?  If so, which one stood out the most to you?

Leave a Reply

Required fields are marked*