Any Marie Kondo fans out there?! Her Netflix show “Tidying Up with Marie Kondo” was the inspiration for this post. She seems to be an inspiration for a lot people! No, I’m not gonna to ask you to find things that “spark joy” but, in this post, I will want you to ask yourself, “Could this be holding me back from finding love?”
Are you someone who has everything going for them but still can’t seem to find that one special person? Maybe you have a good career, great family and friends, decent looking, and a have a good attitude but you’re STILL single…does this sound like you?
Well, that was me. I was single for 6 years and when I finally made the decision to really examine my life and see what was holding me back, things started to change. I started to meet more guys. Little by little the quality of the men I was meeting was getting better and better.
The fact that you’re still single doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you. Really. Really!
You may just need to make some adjustments in your life to begin meeting guys who are interested in long term committed relationships…with you. They ARE out there.
The first step I took in my quest for love was clearing out my home of things that reminded of my exes. I also created a space that would be welcoming of another person, THE person.
Who knew that decluttering your home, hear, and social media accounts, could create a space for love? It’s true! You’ll see what I’m talking about after you do it.
I thought of the following 6 things that you can do as soon as you finish reading this post to get one step closer to meeting that special one.
- Put away/remove/delete from Facebook or Instagram pictures of your exes or any pictures that remind you of him. Maybe you cropped him out of a picture because you looked good in it – find a different one you like and post that one instead. I’m sure you have plenty to choose from.
- Delete them as a friend from Facebook. Stop following them on Instagram or Twitter. (Note: You can add them back after you meet your partner). This may sound kind of harsh and it could be a difficult thing to do for some but, trust me, it’s necessary. I’ll share my one story about this at the end of the blog. Don’t go there now…just keep reading.
- Create a space for someone in your bedroom. Push your bed away from the wall and add a second nightstand. Creating the feeling of having a partner by adding a nightstand will strengthen your desire for someone special to share your life with. This is the idea of “Acting As If” which is a behavior skill that can, in some cases, bring about significant change according to a type of therapy called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).
- Is your place tidy? Can you invite someone over for dinner on a Saturday night? If not, start decluttering and cleaning up your space a bit. Make your home an inviting place for others.
- Do you have old letters or printed out emails from your ex? Read them lovingly one more time, if you like, and then let them go (out of your house!).
- Are you still holding on to gifts from men in your past relationships? Stop wearing that necklace he gave you. I don’t care if it’s a diamond necklace or if you love it. Put it away or, if you’re really brave, give it away. As Marie Kondo would say, hold it in your hands one last time and thank it for bringing you so much happiness (but also remember it probably brings you memories of a lot of grief too!).
Now my story about when I unfriended someone on Facebook. This was a guy that I really liked and we actually ended things on good terms. He was a good person but was not looking to be in a relationship. We were still friends on Facebook but my heart still fluttered a bit when I would see him online. When I made the decision to clean my love slate, I knew he had some kind of hold on me and that it was necessary for me to unfriend him. It was SO HARD! I didn’t realize it was going to be that hard but my desire for what I wanted was so strong that I was willing to try anything. I unfriended him and then cried but felt relieved. I felt like this invisible hold on me was finally released, if that makes sense.
After doing all or some of these things, you will feel lighter and ready to move on and find a new love. I did this and I found someone about six months later who turned out to be my now husband.
Do you have a story to share about things that you have let go? Let me know! If you like this post, don’t forget to share it with your friends!